Monday, May 28, 2012

Subtle Influence

Wisdom is hard to define. It isn't quite intelligence or being "smart", nor is it knowing more than somebody else. Sometimes we see wisdom when people deliberately fail to express their thoughts.

Exempli gratia: a daughter-caretaker does not argue with her alzheimer's-stricken mother who wouldn't get up the chair. 

As for subtle influence, getting others to behave the way you want them to - preemptively - is wisdom expressed via statements that project your expectations.

Saying, "Let's synchronize our watches so we're on the same page" before heading out to meet somebody will send the implied message that you expect them to be on time - to the second.

Saying, "My last doctor was a jerk to me, who do I complain about him?" to your new doctor will send the strong message that you will complain about him if he treats you badly - which will cause him to be extra nice to you.

Note: this is similar to being passive-aggressive, but it's not, because you are not expressing your resentment passively but actively and indirectly conveying your expectations. This behavior is more like indirect-projective.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Why It's Harder To Be Male

Why is it harder being a male than a female?
  • The idea of modern day masculinity stresses achievement and success in the workplace. 
  • Less social support 
  • Socially unacceptable to share feelings or problems, seen as weakness. 

Result?
  • The relationship between experienced workplace aggression and decreased well-being is stronger for men than women. 
  • Men who report work aggression are more likely to experience physical, psychosocial, affective, and cognitive problems.
  • It's harder and takes longer for men to recover from a breakup than it is for women. Women retain their attractiveness to males regardless of the emotional state they are in, allowing them to get validation from other males more easily. Whereas men have radars conspicuously placed on their forehead that tells females that they are suffering emotional or have low self esteem, making them unattractive. 
  • Although females experience depression twice as often as do males, males seek and receive treatment for mental disorders less, intensifying and prolonging the suffering.

    Thursday, May 17, 2012

    Water Conservation on College Campuses



    Problem: too much plastic wasted on bottled water
    Solution: putting up stickers that say "drinking water" above sinks will encourage tap water consumption, as is the case at Cambridge University.

    After Depression

    The depression after a breakup or any traumatic event is a RARE, although painful, opportunity to transform your life, and not just getting out of the depression. This is a chance to become the kind of person you want to be.

    So why is depression an "opportunity"?

    Depression FORCES you to face and re-evaluate your fundamental beliefs (I am not normal), habits (eating/sleeping/exercising), and past trauma (parental emotional incest, past break-ups). The seeds for depression were probably planted a long time ago through the environment in which you grew up, your genes, personality, and social circle.

    Depression is the most painful and hardest trial in the whole of human experience, including cancer, quadriplegia, and torture. It is literal Hell.

    The only way to get through depression is to face and resolve your hurts and issues, whether deeply ingrained resentment for your parents because of emotional incest and neglect, or a breakup.

    These are your automatic thoughts - thoughts that occur in fraction of a second that go unnoticed and unchallenged - that were deeply ingrained into your psyche from childhood. “They fuck you up, your mum and dad.”

    Once you go through all of this you will come out stronger, more attuned to your physical body and emotions, with a new skill set to face all adversity. You also learned what it means to be alive - you gain a new appreciation for all the things you are able to enjoy that you couldn't before and for how easy life is after depression. Not only this, but you acquire the freedom to live your life to the fullest. You gain the confidence that you can face any adversity and recover from it.