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6/27/12

My Dreams Have Come True

Do you know what it feels like to have your dreams come true? Well I do.

I had struggled with depression for two years, and with dysthymia and social anxiety disorder for many years before that. I was hopeless and terrified; "this must be a bad dream, a really really really bad dream. It just can't be reality." But it was. It was like being in the middle of the ocean, floating in the cold, salty water, surrounded by vicious sharks. I thought nobody, for any reason, should be made to feel like this. This pain was inhuman and hellish. I am sill terrified at the thought of ever feeling that pain again.

I did get out of it eventually, through therapy, medication, and many days of grief, anger, and pain. I promised myself - and I felt obliged - to dedicate my life to helping others to avoid the pain I went through.

I never thought I would feel peace of mind and pleasure again, and I did. I didn't think I would graduate from UC Berkeley, and I did. I never thought I would study abroad at Cambridge University, and I did.  I wanted to teach a class (DeCal) on depression, and I did. I wanted to share my story, and I did. I never thought I would have the energy, a healthy self-esteem, and a resilient mind to handle life's challenges with such ease. I never thought I would appreciate everything in my life and be happy. Now I am. And my dreams have come true.

I love my life.